


Lord of the Rings Holiday Filks

by Celandine



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Filk, Gen, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-01
Updated: 2005-12-06
Packaged: 2017-10-12 16:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/127042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celandine/pseuds/Celandine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are parodies, holiday tunes whose lyrics have been reworked to tell of events and characters in Middle-earth. They encompass a variety of Ages, characters, and situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All Elves and Men, Rejoice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Gondorian carol from the Fourth Age.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "Good Christian Men, Rejoice."

All Elves and Men, rejoice  
With heart and soul and voice;  
Give ye heed to what we say:  
News! News! Sauron conquered is today,  
Frodo has destroyed the Ring,  
And Gondor has received her king.  
'Tis victory today!  
'Tis victory today!

All Elves and Men, rejoice  
With heart and soul and voice;  
Now ye hear of endless bliss:  
Joy! Joy! Aragorn was born for this!  
He has come to claim the land  
From mountain peak to sandy strand.  
He was born for this!  
He was born for this!

All Elves and Men, rejoice  
With heart and soul and voice;  
Now ye need not fear the grave;  
Peace! Peace! By Hobbit-valor you are saved!  
Wizard, Elf-lord, reigning king  
Work together, peace to bring.  
Peace to you they gave!  
Peace to you they gave!


	2. Eldar, From the Dusky Twilight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Fourth Age carol about the return of the king.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "Angels, From the Realms of Glory"; sung by the peoples of Middle-earth.

Eldar, from the dusky twilight  
First-born of Ilúvatar;  
Ye, who saw the Two Trees in light  
Now return to Valinor.  
Come and bid your farewell to him,  
Aragorn the true-crowned King!

Edain, of the north or south lands,  
Fighting to protect your own,  
Less shall you give to war's demands  
Now the king is on his throne.  
Come and swear your fealty to him,  
Aragorn the true-crowned King!

Dwarves who dwell in dim-lit caverns,  
Smiths of deathless Dúrin's line,  
Raise a glass in all your taverns  
Toast him in the strongest wine.  
Come and make alliance with him,  
Aragorn the true-crowned King!

Hobbits, living in your own Shire,  
Look beyond its tidy bounds;  
Middle-earth has much to inspire,  
Life and love through it abounds.  
Come and greet him at the crossroads,  
Aragorn the true-crowned King!

All of Arda, join in praising  
Eru, who first sang the Song,  
All ye Children, voices raising,  
Together a mighty throng.  
Come and flourish in his kingdom,  
Aragorn the true-crowned King!


	3. From Valinor They Marched Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Gondorian carol from the Fourth Age.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear"; the Elves in Middle-earth recall the Flight of the Noldor.

From Valinor they marched away,  
The Noldor brave and bold,  
With oaths still lingering on their lips –  
Dissension 'twixt them sowed.  
"We shall seek out the Silmarils,  
Whatever that may bring!"  
The Valar knew not what to say  
Or what these deeds might bring.

To Alqualondë went they then  
And asked for ships to sail.  
Denied, they drew their weapons out  
And ventured to assail  
The Teleri who'd done no harm  
And wished to sail and sing.  
The Noldor overcame them all,  
In wicked Kinslaying.

The Helcaraxë soon drew near  
As northward marched the throng;  
But treachery raised evil thoughts  
And some did the rest wrong.  
For Fëanor and all his sons  
Would not the ships back bring.  
O bow your heads, recall the lost,  
And lament for them sing.

But lo! through Grinding Ice some passed,  
And Middle-earth would behold;  
When with the rising of the Moon  
They reached it unforetold.  
Grim war would over all the earth  
Its dreadful burdens fling,  
Yet without deeds of fell prowess  
Of what would Elves now sing?


	4. Gaffer Cotman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Hobbit carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "Good King Wenceslas."

Gaffer Cotman ventured out  
In the Yuletide season  
Thought the snow lay deep about  
Still he found it pleasing.  
Brightly shone the sun above  
As he piled his snow wall  
Safe from cold with knitted gloves  
Making all his snowballs.

Daddy Longbanks wandered by  
Going to the tavern  
Gaffer Cotman then let fly  
Safe within his cavern.  
What a mighty fight began  
Between these two old friends  
"Try to hit me if you can,  
And I will make you amends."

So spoke Daddy Longbanks loud,  
As he dodged and bellowed.  
Gaffer Cotman was not cowed –  
Age had not him mellowed.  
Thus it stood all afternoon  
Till the sun was setting.  
News had spread through village soon  
And a crowd was betting.

Suddenly a cry arose,  
Ceased the two from squabble  
Goody Cotman's pointed nose  
Led her to the rabble.  
"Leave off, foolish husband mine,  
Leave the scene of battle –  
If you'd be a child of nine,  
I'll find you a rattle."

Goody took him by the ear,  
Sent him homeward running,  
Though he said to her, "My dear,  
‘Twas just a Yuletide funning."  
Therefore, gaffers, if you seek  
Yuletide fun in your lives  
Mind you act all mild and meek  
Lest you anger your goodwives.


	5. I Heard the Drums on That Dark Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Dwarven carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day"; said to have been composed by Thráin I.

I heard the drums on that dark day  
A dreadful sound of warning play,  
In Khazad-dûm the goblins come  
No peace for Dwarves in Moria.

I thought how, as their hordes drew near,  
We would stand firm and not show fear -  
But some did quake and ranks did break.  
No peace for Dwarves in Moria.

And in despair I bowed my head  
And helped as frail and wounded fled.  
My wrath is strong and will last long.  
No peace for Dwarves in Moria.

Then beat the drums more loud and deep:  
"Your king may live, but ours will keep  
The darkling cave you to us gave."  
No peace for Dwarves in Moria.

Now panting, chanting on my way  
I wait to fight another day.  
In Mahal's time, it will be mine. (1)  
No peace for Dwarves in Moria.

* * *

  
 **Footnote:**  
(1) Mahal was the name the Dwarves used for their maker, the Vala known as Aulë to the Elves. 


	6. The Mallorn and Niphredil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traditional old Lothlórien carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "The Holly and the Ivy."

The _mallorn_ and _niphredil_  
When they are both in bloom  
Of all the trees that are in the wood  
The _mallorn_ bears the crown

 _Refrain:_  
Oh the rising of the stars  
And the running of the stream  
The blowing of lord Manwë's winds  
Sweet singing of Varda

The _mallorn_ wears a pale bark  
As tall as any tower  
And Arien moves 'cross the sky  
To count off every hour

 _Refrain_

The _mallorn_ bears a blossom  
As bright as any gold  
And Tilion shall follow her  
Until Arda grows old

 _Refrain_

The _mallorn_ bears its gold leaves  
Throughout the winter chill  
Eärendil shall guide us home  
To Valinor, there still

 _Refrain_

The _mallorn_ bears a ripe nut  
As wholesome as the day  
And we shall see Ilúvatar  
And music for him play

 _Refrain_

The _mallorn_ and _niphredil_  
When they are both in bloom  
Of all the trees that are in the wood  
The mallorn bears the crown

 _Refrain_


	7. Nazgûl We Have Seen on High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Orkish carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "Angels We Have Heard on High"; an Orkish carol sung during the War of the Ring.

Nazgûl we have seen on high  
Flying over Mordor's blight  
Those below will hide their eyes  
Fearing lest they pause in flight.  
Mordor is the land of Sauron.  
Mordor is the land of Sauron.

Uruks, why this quarreling?  
We are gaining victory.  
We will be the Eye's darlings;  
Say naught contradictory.  
Mordor is the land of Sauron.  
Mordor is the land of Sauron.

Come to Barad-dûr and see  
Him whose pow'r sustains us all.  
Fear his wrath if you dare flee  
Sauron, who holds us in thrall.  
Mordor is the land of Sauron.  
Mordor is the land of Sauron.

The Eye sees whate'er he wills  
And commands the course of war;  
Sees Men fleeing to the hills,  
For our victory is sure.  
Mordor is the land of Sauron.  
Mordor is the land of Sauron.


	8. O Come, All Ye Faithful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The carol as sung by those who fled from the Drowning of Númenor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the traditional carol by this name.

O come, all ye Faithful,  
Making your ships ready,  
O come ye, O come ye to Rómenna.  
Come and prepare ye,  
For the coming journey.  
O come, let us go eastward,  
O come, let us go eastward,  
O come, let us go eastward,  
From Númenor.

Sing, ye who flee now,  
Sing in lamentation,  
O sing, all ye refugees from Ar-Pharazôn.  
Thanks to Elendil,  
We may flee our doom.  
O come, let us go eastward,  
O come, let us go eastward,  
O come, let us go eastward,  
From Númenor.

Yea, now the wave comes,  
But we may escape it;  
In Middle-earth shall be our redemption.  
Word of the Valar,  
We shall ne'er return home.  
O come, let us go eastward,  
O come, let us go eastward,  
O come, let us go eastward,  
From Númenor.


	9. O Come, O Come, Isildur's Heir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A carol from Fourth Age Gondor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel."

O come, O come, Isildur's Heir  
And ransom the White City fair,  
That bides in growing dark and fear  
Until the king foretold appear.

 _Refrain:_  
Rejoice, rejoice, our Elessar  
Shall reunite all Gondor.

O come, O come, and for us fight,  
And find the Tree on mountain height,  
Which anciently the Eldar gave  
To Númenor now under wave.

 _Refrain_

O come, thou son of Arathorn,  
And gladden all who wait here and mourn  
From out of Sauron's darkness bring  
Thy people into light and spring.

 _Refrain_

O come, Telcontar, come and cheer  
Our spirits by thy presence here  
Restore the might of thine own country  
And rule us in your wise majesty.

 _Refrain_

O come, thou heir of Elendil, come  
And make sad Gondor thy new home;  
Make safe the land that quails from the Eye,  
And bring an end to misery.

 _Refrain_

O come thou child of Eriador  
And share with us thy knowledge of lore;  
Forsaking not thy people to dwell  
On those misfortunes all may foretell.

 _Refrain_

O come, Estel our promised hope, bind  
Us as a nation leading mankind;  
From dark forbodings give us release,  
And bring to us a time of peace.

 _Refrain_


	10. O Mallorn Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Lothlórien carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "O Christmas Tree" aka "O Tannenbaum"; sung by Haldir.

O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
How are your leaves so golden!  
O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
How are your leaves so golden!

Not only in the summer's haze,  
But even in short winter days.  
O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
How are your leaves so golden!

O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
Your silver boughs delight us!  
O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
Your silver boughs delight us!

With every year, more lovely still,  
In your shade none would e'er do ill.  
O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
Your silver boughs delight us!

O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
In Valinor, none fairer!  
O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
In Valinor, none fairer!

If someday I should travel West,  
Still here my heart would long to rest.  
O _mallorn_ tree, O _mallorn_ tree,  
In Valinor, none fairer!


	11. Springle-Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosie sings this carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "Jingle Bells"; sung by Rosie after her marriage to Sam.

Dancing in the hall,  
In a dress with ribbons gay,  
Sam won't let me fall,  
Though I twirl away;  
Fiddles play their song,  
Bringing us delight,  
What joy it is to dance along  
To that old tune tonight.

Springle-ring, springle-ring, as the fiddles play!  
Yule is grand, he holds my hand, though the sky is cold and grey!  
Springle-ring, springle-ring, as the fiddles play!  
Yule is grand, he holds my hand, though the sky is cold and grey!

A year or two ago,  
I thought he might have died  
When he went off one night  
Into the world so wide.  
But he returned a laird,  
And quickly he me sought  
To ask me if I ever dared  
With him to tie the knot.

Springle-ring, springle-ring, as the fiddles play!  
Yule is grand, he holds my hand, though the sky is cold and grey!  
Springle-ring, springle-ring, as the fiddles play!  
Yule is grand, he holds my hand, though the sky is cold and grey!

Springle-ring, springle-ring, as the fiddles play!  
Yule is grand, he holds my hand, though the sky is cold and grey!  
Springle-ring, springle-ring, as the fiddles play!  
Yule is grand, he holds my hand, though the sky is cold and grey!


	12. The Twelve Days of Mettarë

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A carol sung by Gollum in his cave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "The Twelve Days of Christmas."
> 
>  _Mettarë_ is the midwinter holiday of Middle-earth.

On the first day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the second day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the third day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the fourth day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the fifth day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Five balls of string  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the sixth day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Six Orcs a-straying  
Five balls of string  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the seventh day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Seven eels a-swimming  
Six Orcs a-straying  
Five balls of string  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the eighth day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Eight goats for milking  
Seven eels a-swimming  
Six Orcs a-straying  
Five balls of string  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the ninth day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Nine squirrels prancing  
Eight goats for milking  
Seven eels a-swimming  
Six Orcs a-straying  
Five balls of string  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the tenth day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Ten snakes a-creeping  
Nine squirrels prancing  
Eight goats for milking  
Seven eels a-swimming  
Six Orcs a-straying  
Five balls of string  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the eleventh day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Eleven goblins griping  
Ten snakes a-creeping  
Nine squirrels prancing  
Eight goats for milking  
Seven eels a-swimming  
Six Orcs a-straying  
Five balls of string  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy

On the twelfth day of _mettarë_ , my Precious gave to me  
Twelve Elves a-running  
Eleven goblins griping  
Ten snakes a-creeping  
Nine squirrels prancing  
Eight goats for milking  
Seven eels a-swimming  
Six Orcs a-straying  
Five balls of string  
Four squawking birds  
Three sedge wrens  
Two mourning doves, and  
A fisssh, silver, sweet and juicy


	13. Through the Old Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tramping carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sung by Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin on their way to Tom Bombadil's. Based on the traditional tune "Over the River and Through the Woods."

Through the Old Forest and past the falls,  
To Bombadil's house we go!  
For he knows the way  
To spend every day  
Telling tales so merry-o!

Through the Old Forest and past the falls,  
Escaping old Willow!  
For Tom he knows  
Where danger grows  
As he travels to and fro!

Through the Old Forest and past the falls,  
In a swift-ending day;  
Goldberry sings  
Songs fit for kings  
Hurray for the rondelay!

Through the Old Forest and past the falls,  
Trot fast and do not stray!  
Food will surround  
And drink abound  
To appetite give way!

Through the Old Forest and past the falls,  
And over the threshold's slate,  
All fear will go  
In fire's rich glow  
And Tom will put us straight!

Through the Old Forest and past the falls,  
Now Goldberry fair we spy!  
Hurray that we've done,  
Since we've lost the sun!  
Hurray for the berry pie!


	14. We Three Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Rohirrim sing as they ride to the Pelennor Field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on "We Three Kings."

We three men of Théoden king  
Riding south to Gondor, we sing  
Come from Helm's Deep, naught will us keep  
From what help we might bring.

 _Refrain:_  
O, king of Rohan, now in might  
Lead us to a merry fight  
Southward leading, still proceeding  
Going into Mordor's night.

Marshal of the _éored_ I,  
Elfhelm, make my enemies fly.  
Striking firmly, naught shall turn me,  
Under the sunlit sky.

 _Refrain_

Holbytla, and Merry's my name,  
Théoden's page, determined, I came  
On the riding, ever hiding.  
Valor shall bring me fame.

 _Refrain_

Name me Dernhelm, you may assume  
Though I'm young, I follow my doom.  
Fighting for my king, ready for dying,  
Fearing no stone-cold tomb.

 _Refrain_

Mighty now behold him arise  
Calling out a warrior's cries,  
“Fell deeds awake, spears we now shake!”  
Destiny he defies.

 _Refrain_


End file.
